Content With Your House & With Your Spouse
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 2:25PM 
Due to the positive response following the recent message series "Making Love Last for a Lifetime", and for those who have requested more help in the area of relationships, I have written down some of the teachings from the series, plus some extra help with each topic. A link is provided at the end of this material where it can be downloaded and printed in its entirety for easier usage. Review each topic, its basic truths, and then complete the assignments, including the scriptures for memorization. The key to realizing lasting and positive change in your relationships is the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. He will work through prayer, God's Word, and our efforts to transform us and fill our relationships with love that lasts a lifetime!
Section One: Battling Envy & Cultivating Contentment
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up."
1 Corinthians 13:4 (NKJV)
Envy has a long and sordid past with its origin in the very heart of Satan. Isaiah 14:12-15 records Satan's jealousy of God's throne and deity, and his desire to steal them away. Ever since envy became his own downfall, Satan has realized its power for the destruction of human relationships. From Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to the present day, mankind boils with envy for what belongs to another. In fact, the Greek word for envy is 'zelo', literally meaning "to boil".
Envy does not just grow overnight, like dandelions. It develops over time.
- Stage One: Discontentment
We become discontent with unfulfilled expectations. Never mind that our expectations are unreasonable or even impossible. We have made unequal and unfair comparisons to which no one can measure up.
- Stage Two: Disillusionment
Confusion sets in due to our unfulfilled expectations. "I never thought it would be like this..." We become negative toward that which does not measure up.
- Stage Three: Deception
The unfair comparisons intensify. We deceive ourselves into thinking that something or someone else is better. But we cannot see the whole picture, only the outer facade. We become infatuated with an illusion.
- Stage Four: Desire
We become convinced that the illusion can bring happiness or significance. We fool ourselves into thinking that we cannot live without it.
- Stage Five: Destruction
We chase the illusion no matter what the cost to our current relationship. And then we discover that it is just an illusion. No one could possibly be as perfect as we had thought. Our relationship is now severely damaged. We have crashed and burned.
The music video "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns gives a poignant illustration to this process.
How can we battle envy and cultivate contentment?
- Confess the SIN of Envy - It is a brutal sin that made God's TOP TEN list! (Ten Commandments - Number 10: "You shall not covet" [envy] Exodus 20:17) Confession must be followed by repentance! Turn away in sorrow from envy and ask God's help to defeat it completely! "For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there." James 3:16 (NKJV)
- Control Your Thoughts - Your mind is the front line of the battleground for your relationship. Build adequate defenses! We cannot always control or avoid temptation, but we can control our mind. Eliminate whatever tempts you to compare and envy. "Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV)
- Cultivate Contentment - Love is content with the object of its affection. Love is a decision, not a ficle emotion. Choose to love your spouse unconditionally and choose to be content. Stop looking to others and making comparisons. Choose to be satisfied with what (and who) you have. "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have." Hebrews 13:5a (NKJV)
Suggested Actions:
- PRAY - Pray for the strength of the Holy Spirit to control your thoughts and resist temptation. Ask Him to grow a greater love in you for your spouse. Confess your struggle to him or her and ask them to agree in prayer with you.
- MEMORIZE - Memorize all four of the Scriptures printed above. Saturate your mind with the Scriptures. Find additional verses to memorize that deal with envy, covetousness, and contentment.
- ACT - Take any actions necessary to remove the temptation to compare (let Philippians 4:8 be your guide).
Suggested Resources:
The Love Dare, by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. B&H Publishing Group. ISBN - 0805448853
The Secret to the Marriage You Want, by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott. Lifeway Church Resources. ISBN - 1415868166 (member book)
This material in a downloadable file (Microsoft Word 1997-2003)
God,
bible,
contentment,
envy,
love,
marriage,
study in
Making Love Last a Lifetime 





BSFL Sunday School commentary for the week of January 17, 2010
Wrestling with Injustice Ecclesiastes 3,4,8
As I write this I am keeping up with news reports from Haiti, where a devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook the tiny island on Tuesday afternoon. President Barak Obama said, "For a country and a people who are no strangers to hardship and suffering, this tragedy seems especially cruel and incomprehensible." (http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/13/haiti.earthquake/index.html) In Ecclesiastes 8:6-8, Solomon proclaims, "For every activity there is a right time and procedure, even though man’s troubles are heavy on him. Yet no one knows what will happen, because who can tell him what will happen? No one has authority over the wind to restrain it, and there is no authority over the day of death; there is no furlough in battle, and wickedness will not allow those who practice it to escape." (HCSB)
The Bible says in numerous places that God loves justice (see Psalm 11:7; 33:5; 99:4). Simply put, justice is when everyone receives exactly what they deserve, good or bad. But a cursory look around our world reveals that justice does not prevail. Further, this seems to be the norm, and it appears for the most part that no one is doing anything about it. Perhaps more unsettling, injustice is seen all through the pages of Scripture. In Genesis 12 Abram lied to Pharaoh concerning his wife Sarai, so Pharaoh took her into his harem. God struck Pharaoh for taking Abram's wife, and he returned her to her husband. But there is no record of God punishing Abram for lying. In Genesis 2 God clearly states that the punishment for sin is death. In Genesis 3 Adam sinned and he didn't die immediately. However, in Acts 5 Ananias and Sapphira are struck dead by God for their sin. According to human reasoning God is anything but just.
"I also observed under the sun: there is wickedness at the place of judgment and there is wickedness at the place of righteousness." Ecclesiastes 3:16 (HCSB)
"Again, I observed all the acts of oppression being done under the sun. Look at the tears of those who are oppressed; they have no one to comfort them. Power is with those who oppress them; they have no one to comfort them." Ecclesiastes 4:1 (HCSB)
Is it hopeless to battle against injustice? Is God unjust? Is He truly perfect, or does He show favoritism to some and harshness to others? While we cannot begin to adequately explain God or His actions, we can go to the Scriptures for help with these questions.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a propitiation through faith in His blood, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His restraint God passed over the sins previously committed. He presented Him to demonstrate His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be righteous and declare righteous the one who has faith in Jesus." Romans 3:23-26 (HCSB)
Read the words of R. Kent Hughes in his commentary on Romans: "In Christ's death the demands of God for justice against a sinful race are fully met, leaving Him free to be merciful to those who formerly merited only judgment."
"Simply put, in the past God did not pour out his full wrath on men for their sins. He was patient and merciful. Some might question His righteousness in doing this. However, in Jesus' death He demonstrated His wrath against sin. It is here - in Christ being the mercy seat - that we see the miraculous love and creativity of God. God found a way to forgive us and yet maintain His moral integrity. He forgave us without condoning our sin. How? By directing toward Himself, in the person of His Son, the full weight of the wrath we deserved. Thus God's holy character is not compromised" (page 85).
There is hope in standing against injustice. God has demonstrated His justice in the cross. He will ultimately judge the world in perfect justice and righteousness. "I said to myself, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, since there is a time for every activity and every work." Ecclesiastes 3:17 (HCSB). Until that time yet in the future, Solomon gives us some guidelines for how we are to strive for justice in our world. Ecclesiastes 8:2-9 teaches us to:
In Ecclesiastes 8:10-13 Solomon declares that we need not despair. There is hope for change, in our world, and in the future judgment before God. Our efforts to promote justice are not in vain. The God who personifies justice will use us as His instruments to bring about hope and justice to the oppressed. We cannot remedy all injustice, but we can each do something.
Give to SBC Baptist Global Response to assist with Haiti Relief efforts
Follow this link to a YouTube Video Playlist of 19 videos related to the themes of this month's Bible Studies for Life study in Ecclesiastes.