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Wednesday
17Feb2010

Content With Your House & With Your Spouse

Due to the positive response following the recent message series "Making Love Last for a Lifetime", and for those who have requested more help in the area of relationships, I have written down some of the teachings from the series, plus some extra help with each topic. A link is provided at the end of this material where it can be downloaded and printed in its entirety for easier usage. Review each topic, its basic truths, and then complete the assignments, including the scriptures for memorization. The key to realizing lasting and positive change in your relationships is the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. He will work through prayer, God's Word, and our efforts to transform us and fill our relationships with love that lasts a lifetime!

Section One: Battling Envy & Cultivating Contentment

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up."

1 Corinthians 13:4 (NKJV)

Envy has a long and sordid past with its origin in the very heart of Satan. Isaiah 14:12-15 records Satan's jealousy of God's throne and deity, and his desire to steal them away. Ever since envy became his own downfall, Satan has realized its power for the destruction of human relationships. From Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to the present day, mankind boils with envy for what belongs to another. In fact, the Greek word for envy is 'zelo', literally meaning "to boil".

Envy does not just grow overnight, like dandelions. It develops over time.

  • Stage One: Discontentment

We become discontent with unfulfilled expectations. Never mind that our expectations are unreasonable or even impossible. We have made unequal and unfair comparisons to which no one can measure up.

  • Stage Two: Disillusionment

Confusion sets in due to our unfulfilled expectations. "I never thought it would be like this..." We become negative toward that which does not measure up.

  • Stage Three: Deception

The unfair comparisons intensify. We deceive ourselves into thinking that something or someone else is better. But we cannot see the whole picture, only the outer facade. We become infatuated with an illusion.

  • Stage Four: Desire

We become convinced that the illusion can bring happiness or significance. We fool ourselves into thinking that we cannot live without it.

  • Stage Five: Destruction

We chase the illusion no matter what the cost to our current relationship. And then we discover that it is just an illusion. No one could possibly be as perfect as we had thought. Our relationship is now severely damaged. We have crashed and burned.

The music video "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns gives a poignant illustration to this process.

 

How can we battle envy and cultivate contentment?

  1. Confess the SIN of Envy - It is a brutal sin that made God's TOP TEN list! (Ten Commandments - Number 10: "You shall not covet" [envy] Exodus 20:17) Confession must be followed by repentance! Turn away in sorrow from envy and ask God's help to defeat it completely! "For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there." James 3:16 (NKJV)
  2. Control Your Thoughts - Your mind is the front line of the battleground for your relationship. Build adequate defenses! We cannot always control or avoid temptation, but we can control our mind. Eliminate whatever tempts you to compare and envy. "Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NKJV)
  3. Cultivate Contentment - Love is content with the object of its affection. Love is a decision, not a ficle emotion. Choose to love your spouse unconditionally and choose to be content. Stop looking to others and making comparisons. Choose to be satisfied with what (and who) you have. "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have." Hebrews 13:5a (NKJV)

 

Suggested Actions:

  • PRAY - Pray for the strength of the Holy Spirit to control your thoughts and resist temptation. Ask Him to grow a greater love in you for your spouse. Confess your struggle to him or her and ask them to agree in prayer with you.
  • MEMORIZE - Memorize all four of the Scriptures printed above. Saturate your mind with the Scriptures. Find additional verses to memorize that deal with envy, covetousness, and contentment.
  • ACT - Take any actions necessary to remove the temptation to compare (let Philippians 4:8 be your guide).

Suggested Resources:

The Love Dare, by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. B&H Publishing Group. ISBN - 0805448853

The Secret to the Marriage You Want, by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott. Lifeway Church Resources. ISBN - 1415868166 (member book)

This material in a downloadable file (Microsoft Word 1997-2003)

 

Wednesday
13Jan2010

BSFL Sunday School commentary for the week of January 17, 2010

Wrestling with Injustice   Ecclesiastes 3,4,8

As I write this I am keeping up with news reports from Haiti, where a devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook the tiny island on Tuesday afternoon. President Barak Obama said, "For a country and a people who are no strangers to hardship and suffering, this tragedy seems especially cruel and incomprehensible." (http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/13/haiti.earthquake/index.html) In Ecclesiastes 8:6-8, Solomon proclaims, "For every activity there is a right time and procedure, even though man’s troubles are heavy on him. Yet no one knows what will happen, because who can tell him what will happen? No one has authority over the wind to restrain it, and there is no authority over the day of death; there is no furlough in battle, and wickedness will not allow those who practice it to escape." (HCSB)

The Bible says in numerous places that God loves justice (see Psalm 11:7; 33:5; 99:4). Simply put, justice is when everyone receives exactly what they deserve, good or bad. But a cursory look around our world reveals that justice does not prevail. Further, this seems to be the norm, and it appears for the most part that no one is doing anything about it. Perhaps more unsettling, injustice is seen all through the pages of Scripture. In Genesis 12 Abram lied to Pharaoh concerning his wife Sarai, so Pharaoh took her into his harem. God struck Pharaoh for taking Abram's wife, and he returned her to her husband. But there is no record of God punishing Abram for lying. In Genesis 2 God clearly states that the punishment for sin is death. In Genesis 3 Adam sinned and he didn't die immediately. However, in Acts 5 Ananias and Sapphira are struck dead by God for their sin. According to human reasoning God is anything but just.

"I also observed under the sun: there is wickedness at the place of judgment and there is wickedness at the place of righteousness." Ecclesiastes 3:16 (HCSB)

"Again, I observed all the acts of oppression being done under the sun. Look at the tears of those who are oppressed; they have no one to comfort them. Power is with those who oppress them; they have no one to comfort them." Ecclesiastes 4:1 (HCSB)

Is it hopeless to battle against injustice? Is God unjust? Is He truly perfect, or does He show favoritism to some and harshness to others? While we cannot begin to adequately explain God or His actions, we can go to the Scriptures for help with these questions.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a propitiation through faith in His blood, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His restraint God passed over the sins previously committed. He presented Him to demonstrate His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be righteous and declare righteous the one who has faith in Jesus." Romans 3:23-26 (HCSB)

Read the words of R. Kent Hughes in his commentary on Romans: "In Christ's death the demands of God for justice against a sinful race are fully met, leaving Him free to be merciful to those who formerly merited only judgment."

"Simply put, in the past God did not pour out his full wrath on men for their sins. He was patient and merciful. Some might question His righteousness in doing this. However, in Jesus' death He demonstrated His wrath against sin. It is here - in Christ being the mercy seat - that we see the miraculous love and creativity of God. God found a way to forgive us and yet maintain His moral integrity. He forgave us without condoning our sin. How? By directing toward Himself, in the person of His Son, the full weight of the wrath we deserved. Thus God's holy character is not compromised" (page 85).

There is hope in standing against injustice. God has demonstrated His justice in the cross. He will ultimately judge the world in perfect justice and righteousness. "I said to myself, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, since there is a time for every activity and every work." Ecclesiastes 3:17 (HCSB). Until that time yet in the future, Solomon gives us some guidelines for how we are to strive for justice in our world. Ecclesiastes 8:2-9 teaches us to:

  • Live right consistently (2)
  • Be patient when looking for ways to help others (3)
  • Follow appropriate protocol so our desire to help will not make matters worse (4-6)
  • Honor those in authority (7-9)

In Ecclesiastes 8:10-13 Solomon declares that we need not despair. There is hope for change, in our world, and in the future judgment before God. Our efforts to promote justice are not in vain. The God who personifies justice will use us as His instruments to bring about hope and justice to the oppressed. We cannot remedy all injustice, but we can each do something.

Give to SBC Baptist Global Response to assist with Haiti Relief efforts

Follow this link to a YouTube Video Playlist of 19 videos related to the themes of this month's Bible Studies for Life study in Ecclesiastes.

Tuesday
05Jan2010

BSFL Sunday School Commentary for the week of January 10, 2010

Wrestling With Time     Ecclesiastes 3

"There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing; a time to search and a time to count as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (HCSB)

 “There is a season… turn, turn, turn…” So the famous song goes. Though the songwriter might not have had the same intent as the Teacher in Ecclesiastes, the text nonetheless comes from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. In that passage, the writer acknowledges that there are different seasons to life, some more enjoyable than others. It also speaks to the thought of the appropriateness of certain timing. While some things are good, sometimes the timing is not right for them.

The Greek language uses two differing words for time. 'Kronos' is the word for sequential time, as in keeping time on our watches. It's where we get our word chronological. But 'kairos' refers to "an undetermined period of time in which something special happens." In the Greek translation of the Hebrew scriptures the word for time in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 is 'kairos'. Every kronos moment has the potential to become a kairos moment. Every moment in your chronological day has the potential of becoming a significant event where God is seen to be at work. In fact, God is always at work in our lives (see John 5:17); the problem is that we too often fail to recognize it, especially on a moment-by-moment basis.

 We often seem to have a problem with accepting the season we’re in. When we find ourselves in less than desirable circumstances—a job loss, a car wreck, a diagnosis—we tend to try to get out of the season we’re in as quickly as possible. In fact, many spend the majority of their lives either looking back or looking forward.

 We think longingly about how things used to be—back when the kids were small (or before kids), back when life was simpler, back when the economy was better. Or we tend to drown ourselves in thoughts about the future—what life will be like when we’re finally out of debt, or when the promotion comes through, or when we can finally buy our own home or take that dream vacation. Because of the pain in the present we look to the past or long for the future. We too easily miss God at work in our present.

 Even though it’s OK for us to remember the past fondly and to look longingly toward the future, especially our future in heaven, we have to live in the present. And God has things to teach us, work for us to do, and opportunities for us to lay hold of…right now. If we’re always looking behind or way in front we miss the present.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 begins, "He has made everything appropriate in its time." Nothing happens by accident. Everything that enters our lives, and indeed the world, crosses the desk of our sovereign God who must first give His stamp of approval. God uses the good, the bad, and the ugly for His purposes. Nothing is wasted or random. Why else do we sing "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" in our churches? What is so wondrous about a place of shameful execution, where the sinless, innocent Son of God was slain by His own murderous created beings? It was appropriate at that time, because Jesus' death was the ransom for the sins of the world. "But when the completion of the time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons." Galatians 4:4-5 (HCSB)

What is God doing in the moments of your life? Every kronos moment has the potential to become a kairos moment. Let's heed the advice the Apostle Paul gave in Ephesians 5:15-16 (HCSB): "Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk - not as unwise people but as wise - making the most of the time, because the days are evil." Make the most of every moment, every event, every day, every opportunity. Pray that God's Spirit would open your eyes to where God is working in each moment. Live in the present, even though it might be difficult. Who knows? You might actually find a blessing there you would ordinarily have missed.

 Follow this link to a YouTube Video Playlist of 19 videos related to the themes of this month's Bible Studies for Life study in Ecclesiastes.

Wednesday
30Dec2009

BSFL Sunday School Commentary for the week of January 3, 2010

Wrestling with the Meaning of Life     Ecclesiastes 1:1-11;12:13-14

French Philosopher Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) said, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator made known through Jesus Christ." But how many times do we find ourselves trying to plug that hole with something that isn't shaped like God?

We all have responsibilities. The dog has to be walked. The electric bill has to be paid. The bedtime routine has to be accomplished. And after days and weeks and years of the same thing, we find ourselves feeling enslaved to the cycle of life. Our culture will tell us that the way to find true meaning is to abandon that cycle: Leave the family! Abandon the dog! Find yourself! But true meaning in life doesn’t come through abandoning those responsibilities; it comes in realizing that we can connect with God inside and even through that cycle. Without connecting with God, the cycle is monotonous and enslaving. But when we begin to connect with God, we start to see opportunity and meaning even in the small things.

My wife left on a trip today with our two youngest children. They are traveling about seven hours to her parents' home to visit with her sister, who is visiting from Japan. Don't laugh, but this was hard for me. We always take trips like that together. I have traveled many times alone with my career, driving and flying alone. But I have never watched Becky leave for a trip without me. Everything in our home reminds me of her. Everything there reflects her touch. For some reason I am acutely aware of it when she is gone. But everything still bears her mark when she is present. A basket of laundry, neatly folded and ready to be put away. An empty basket beside that one. The extra blanket she always uses on her side of the bed at night, neatly folded on the foot of the bed, which itself is made up neatly. Our kitchen table with chairs arranged around it. Even the empty space in the driveway where her truck is normally parked. All these (and many more) insignificant things take on new meaning because they remind me of her.

What if we lived our lives seeing everything as a reflection of God's touch? What if we realized that every moment has the potential of being a holy moment because God is there in the ordinary? Can we cook a meal at home for love of God, or mow the lawn for His pleasure? Can we do all things as an act of worship to Him and look for His hand and listen for His voice? Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that certain moments of life are reserved for God and certain ones are not. Sundays are for God (at least 2 hours in the morning), and maybe Wednesday nights. The rest is my time, right? The question is not whether He’s there all the time and everywhere; the question is how cognizant we want to be of His presence. Of how much of the void within us that Pascal referred to we are willing to fill with Him.

We have the choice this week of living consciously in God’s presence, or we can just go about our tasks and responsibilities and never recognize His presence. If we never acknowledge His presence, then as the writer of Ecclesiastes said, there will be nothing new under the sun. Or we can choose to simply acknowledge the presence of God in our ordinary lives. That’s when the ordinary starts to become extraordinary.