Musings on 2011

Me working while in CT with Adrian for testing at Yale University, February 2011. Yes, it’s been a while since my last posting. Many things have happened since I wrote here. Too many things to spend lots of space writing but suffice it to say, life has been busy in the Stover household, the West TN branch as well as the East TN division. In fact, reflecting on the entire year of 2011, it has been one of the most trying years to date. Multiple health crises and life changes have kept us all near the breaking point. Many personal and ministry goals have gone unreached, even un-attempted, as we have found ourselves in survival mode. I found myself just trying to hold my family intact and invest a great deal of time in them to provide some stability in the midst of turmoil. However, to do this, other things were left undone. I am sure many have been and are displeased; but none of them know the depth of despair and anguish our personal crises have caused. I have learned that I cannot measure the trials and circumstances of others by my own experience because each one’s trials are unique to them. Similarly, no one else can judge our lives or actions by their own desires or opinions, having never been where we are. Being in the public eye, or as some call it “living in the fishbowl of ministry”, I have learned to let others form their own opinions while we stay true to our Lord and to one another. Some will understand; a few will reach out to help shoulder the burden; most will stand at a distance with a critical eye. We will each render an accounting to our Master for ourselves alone.

What has been learned? At the end of every year, indeed at the end of every experience, that is the question to consider. What have I learned through the experience and how can I be better because of it? How can I be different and how can God get more glory through me now? I have learned to love more and to give more grace. Everyone struggles, just like me. They will not benefit or see God through my critical spirit or condemnation. They will see Him through me as I offer grace, love, understanding, patience, and help. Instead of placing more demands on them, I should offer to come alongside where they are, link arms with them, and help to pull the load. This is not to say that people should not be challenged or held accountable; we all should and must. However, Jesus never stomped on those who were hurting but sincerely making an effort. He lovingly and patiently challenged them while at the same time offering the assistance they needed to move ahead. I am not the Lord Jesus or His Holy Spirit. But I am His instrument for working His kind of ministry, when I allow myself to be used. I firmly believe now more than ever before that when I stand to render an accounting before God, He will not condemn me for not being legalistic enough; but I fear He will say I should have given more grace.

So what will it be like in 2012? I cannot say. I can only look at the scars that 2011 has left behind: a heart-healthy diet, more gray hair, a wife who still cannot eat and battles health issues every day, a son whose seizures daily seem to change for the worse, a daughter who increasingly becomes more independent as she grows into the woman God has created her to be, another son facing college, parents with serious long-term health challenges of their own, 7 hours away, and the usual collection of bumps and scrapes accumulated by walking through a world of fallen humanity. It is my hope that lessons learned through this past year will transform me into a better disciple, husband, father, son, pastor, neighbor, citizen, and human being. Only time will tell; but the future looks bright. The Light of the World is my lamp!

Living to Please God

What does it mean to "live to please God"? "By faith, Enoch was taken away so that he did not experience death, and he was not to be found because God took him away. For prior to his transformation he was approved, having pleased God." Hebrews 11:5 (HCSB) Of course, the Lord Jesus could say, "One who sent Me is with Me. He has not left Me alone, because I always do what pleases Him." John 8:29 (HCSB).         

In the short time Paul had been with the Thessalonian believers, he had instructed them regarding ethical matters; how to live lives that please God (1 Thessalonians 4:1-2). They had 'received' (vs. 1; this is the Greek word paralambano, meaning to receive, identify with, or associate with) 'commands' (vs. 2; this is the Greek word paraggelia, meaning commands or orders) regarding how they should live in a way that pleased God. But consider this thought: Was this a list of do's and don'ts, or simply a guiding principle? I believe both are taught here.

The Apostle Paul proceeds to give them a list of ethical instructions (one of several he gave in his writings) in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-12. A new believer who knows little or nothing of God will need clear rules to follow in the beginning, much as a child does in infancy and throughout the toddler years. But with growth and maturity comes a desire to know the 'whys' of what we do and do not do. In addition, we come to desire a more intimate knowledge of the 'Who' behind the 'whys'. A growing believer's desire goes from simply being obedient to "living to please God".

We can be obedient and not desire to please God. Jonah is a prime example. He repented of running away from God and disobeying His command to go and preach to Nineveh. He then did what God commanded, but his heart was not in it. He did not wish the Ninevites to repent. In fact, he sat outside the city pouting because the people repented and found God's mercy! God could bless His Word, but He could not bless His servant. "Don’t work only while being watched, in order to please men, but as slaves of Christ, do God’s will from your heart." Ephesians 6:6 (HCSB)

Here are some thoughts about 'Living to Please God'. First, it's a radical concept. How can we know and love Him, if we don't seek to please Him? It takes self out of the way and places Someone else first. It challenges the very reality of our profession. Am I really a follower of Christ? Am I seeking to please Him? Next, it's a flexible principle. It takes us off the 'list standard' and places us more under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The clear ethical commands of Scripture are a starting point, and the Spirit will never lead us to contradict the commands of Scripture regarding ethical matters. He will, however, lead us beyond rote obedience toward a love relationship. In fact, He will lead us back into the Scriptures where we become better acquainted with the One giving the commands. But notice the difference: we go from obeying to please the law-giver, to discerning our Shepherd's voice and following Him. Last, it's a progressive lifestyle. There is no arrival point. Living to please God is a continuing pursuit. We are summoned to please Him more and more (verse 1b). The stronger and more intimate the relationship, the greater the desire and effort to please Him.

So, what do we do with this? First, seek to obey God's commands. Next, seek a growing love relationship with the Lord. Finally, evaluate everything by this question: "Does this please God?"

I Like Being Married

I like being married. That statement produces a veritable smorgasbord of responses and reactions when spoken aloud. Depending on the hearer's opinions or previous experiences, I have been the subject of coy smiles, unbelieving laughter, and unmitigated contempt. Why should such a benign statement spark such emotional responses?

Could it be that many are not finding their marriages to be wedded bliss? Neither do I and my spouse. Might it be that some are discovering to their chagrin that marriage is work? My wife and I came to that conclusion ere we were scarcely out of town on our wedding day. Would we be correct in supposing that many had a skewed dream of what marriage would be, and the dream-bubble exploded soon after the nuptials, covering everything with a sticky mess? I must confess I had delusional aspirations for our married life that I have found to be unrealistic and even unhealthy. We do not have a perfect marriage. I hasten to add the overwhelming cause for that lies with me. However, I enjoy the ongoing challenge and pursuit of being married, and wish to offer a few suggestions I feel contribute to our continuing success.

• The most important element in our pursuit of marital success is commitment. My wife and I determined long ago, before our wedding day in fact, that we were in this thing for life. There are no loopholes and no escape clauses. Our only recourse is to do and be what is necessary for success in the relationship. If there is any way out, it is too easy to quit.
• Second, I choose every day to love my wife. Sometimes I must choose to love her every moment! I choose to love her when she is dressed to kill and I choose to love her when she is killing me trying to get dressed. I choose to love her in the heat of passion and I choose to love her in the cold of apathy. I choose to love her, to quote some timeless phrases, "for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part". The pivotal word in this entire paragraph is not love; it is choose. Love is a decision and a commitment I make of my own free will. I am resolved to choose daily to love my wife. No matter what.
• Third, I choose every day to pursue. I choose to pursue Christ. I choose to pursue a vibrant relationship with Him that transforms me into the best husband possible. I choose to pursue the things that build up my wife. I choose to set myself far aside. I must never give up the pursuit; for there will always be improvement that can and should be made. My wife is a priceless gift from God and is worth every effort I make and much, much more.
• Last, I believe. I believe what the Scriptures teach concerning the marriage relationship. When choosing a metaphor to illustrate the incredible relationship Christ has with His church, God chose marriage. Just as in Christ's relationship with His church, there is in our marriages the potential for unblemished purity, unrivaled holiness, unbroken commitment, unequaled sacrifice, unbridled love, unfathomable strength, and uncontainable joy. If it were not possible, our painfully honest God would have told us so. I believe it is possible.

I have not completed this journey. But these few concepts guide me like a tall and shining beacon guides wayward ships toward home and safety. They are, I believe, the foundational steps to realizing the best God has for us in our marriage relationships. I am not satisfied with where I am in my marriage; there is much progress that needs to be made. But I like the pursuit. I like being married.

National Day of Prayer 2010

"I urge then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 1 Timothy 2:1-2

Our country is today contending with issues that are causing its very foundation to crumble. Our moral and spiritual roots are eroding. Families are disintegrating. there seem to be very few leaders who will take a stand for God and His Word.

Will you join with others this Thursday May 6, 2010, for the National Day of Prayer, and lift up our nation before God? Will you cry out in repentance and intercession on behalf of our country and its leaders? Will you beseech the God of heaven to have mercy on our hurting and aimless people? Will you implore the Savior to redeem the lost? Will you beg the Holy Spirit to draw people of all ages back to God?

Ararat Baptist Church, 3608 Brownsville Highway, Jackson, TN, will be open from 7 AM to 7 PM so people can come in and pray. We will provide free prayer resources to guide you as you pray for our nation and its leaders. Even if you can only pause a moment, stop and pray for America.

http://www.facebook.com/TheNationalDayofPrayerTaskForce?ref=ts

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BSFL Sunday School commentary for the week of May 2, 2010

"In the Presence of God"     Genesis 1,2

Are you married? How did you prepare for your wedding? More importantly, how did you prepare for marriage? Do you ever wish that you were better prepared for marriage in the beginning?

In the wedding ceremony the minister traditionally says something along these lines: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD and these witnesses...." Have you ever thought much about that? Does God really concern Himself with our marriages? Of course He does! In fact, humans and human relationships were on God's mind as far back as the creation.

Human beings alone among God's creation are created "in His image". This statement by God implies that God created us in His spiritual likeness, mirroring His distinctive character traits. With a desire to emulate our Creator planted in our hearts, we will only find our greatest enjoyment in a personal relationship with Him that transforms us into His likeness.

In an interesting application of this principle, Jesus was tested concerning His allegiance to God or Caesar. In Matthew 22:21 Jesus answered, "Therefore, give back to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." In other words, if Caesar's image was stamped on something, he had a right to dictate how it was used. We have similar laws concerning how United States currency is handled. If God's image is stamped on us from creation, He has the right to use us however He chooses, and to dictate to us His guidelines for living.

Scripture states that humans were created by God "male and female", distinct genders that although different in many ways, relate to one another and indeed complement each other. When we try to change this arrangement of distinction and relation, we violate His guidelines and the very created order. Chaos and destruction are the inevitable result. It cannot work successfully unless we follow the Creator's guideline.

When God created man He realized that man was not as fulfilled alone as he could be with a companion. This is the first thing that God recognized in His creation as being "not good". It was not good for man to be alone. I personally agree wholeheartedly with that! God created a suitable helper for the man that was like him and yet distinct from him. I love to imagine the moment when God brought the woman to present her to the man. While the man was in a deep sleep God removed a rib from him, and fashioned this incredible creature. when the man had awakened, God brought her and presented man with this gift to be treasured.

God gave special attention to the creation of the man and the woman, placed them together, and blessed their relationship. He intends that relationship to be sacred. May we realize that we live together in our marriages "In the Presence of God", and that He has a perfect plan for making them work successfully.